Dear Bay Area woman,

Fuck society. Fuck expectations of being married at a certain age. Fuck milestones set by other people. You can still have the “thriving nourishing career” you dream of. You are healthy. You own a condo in one of the biggest housing bubbles. You have assets. You can always sell your condo, downsize, start working on a side project, and transition that into a full-time gig working for yourself or freelancing. Elizabeth Gilbert still worked as a full time editor at a publishing house until after she published her second book. I still write every morning while working full time as a product manager. We all have dreams. Society and life just beat the shit out of us so we let go of those dreams.

Life is a game of inches. Every small change adds up into one giant life pivot.

I sense sadness in your voice. I felt that same sadness so I decided to quit the life I had in SF and start over in NYC. I still miss the Bay. I miss the ripe avocados. I miss Ocean Beach. I miss West Coast nice. What I don’t miss is the sense of existential stagnation I felt in SF. I craved for diversity. I craved for access to people who think differently from me. I craved for arts and culture.

Create the life you want. I believe in you. This is the era of the fully-voiced, self-actualized, woke woman.

By the time you turn forty, I hope you’ll be so in love with your life that you won’t need to look to others for markers.

Stacy London said it best,

“I am the first generation of this kind of woman: the kind of woman whose traditions and values are being written right now.

We’re still writing our narratives for what the modern woman is. She is many things and so are you. Dare to be different.